Dealing with Dualities

“One who is undisturbed by misery, not craving happiness, free from attachment, fear and anger, is a sage of steady mind.” -Krishna to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita ch. 2 v. 56

Dualities are natural phenomena on earth. For example, the ebb and flow of the tide, the sun shining down for the day versus the moon illuminating the night, and even the changing of the temperatures of the seasons is a natural duality that we encounter. The body is made up of dualities: fight or flight mode when feeling stressed versus the rest and digest mode when relaxed.

My moods also change every second, minute, hour, and day. With every season my mood changes. “I’m freezing right now” in winter turns into “I am burning up!” in the summertime. “I feel so unsatisfied with my relationship” may turn into “I miss my partner.” Perhaps you land the job you always dreamed of and then the next year you lose that job. Even tiny dualities exist within our day: feelings of anxiety around a long to-do list at work can at once be extinguished with feelings of calm after a rejuvenating yoga and savasana practice (or after completion of said to-do list). Riding on a cramped subway during rush hour can induce feelings of anger, fear, and anxiety one moment and then when the train empties one may feel at peace for a split second.

We are living in a world where we allow our happiness to be dependent on our external realities. If something in our world or our perspective of the world veers off the path we have chosen or prefer then we become unhappy and disturbed in some way. Our moods then are ever changing and quite unstable- even volatile. As a few of my teachers say, we believe that life is happening to us and that we are the idle victims at the hands of events taking place in our lives.

Alas, the age-old question arises then: how can we live in a world where the external realities are constantly changing and dualities are ever present and ALSO find happiness— or at least contentment? Will burying my feelings with face masks, serums, Alexa, Lululemon pants, new guitars, video games, plastic surgery, alcohol, or drugs under the guise of self-care help me feel content, clear, and present?

On the mat, yogis strive to practice sthira and sukhum, steadiness and ease within each posture. The yoga poses are done not just to strengthen and balance the physical body and create flexibility, but they also train the mind to become undisturbed and equipoise throughout a challenging situation. By linking the breath to each movement yogis begin to focus less on the external, the aesthetics of the pose, and more on the mind-body connection. Breathing deeply and fully within each pose allows the yogi to turn down the constant chatter of the mind even if it is just for one moment or one pose. Next time you’re in a challenging pose on the mat simply notice how you are breathing. Often when the going gets tough and when we need to breathe the most we forget to do so.

When we can calm this chatter in the mind and focus less on identifying with our bodies, we can begin to look toward the inner landscape within ourselves. What really lies in the courtyard of our hearts? Some may call it a soul or an energy life force. Whatever you call it, it is unique in each and every person. We will call this a soul for purposes of consistency in this post. Once we see, connect, and feel glimpses of the soul in our own inner landscape through this breath to movement connection we can find comfort there when we feel life is happening to us. My teachers have opened my eyes to viewing dualities in a different way: life is not happening to me, life is happening for me. This shift of perspective can empower us to know that we are not idle victims of the dualities of nature, the mind, or the body. We have the power to choose to take a deep breath, connect to our inner nature, and find steadiness and ease from within throughout any situation that arises on or off the mat.

Simply choosing to breathe through a situation is a rebellious act. We live in a society that consistently expects one to be in a state of fight or flight (or freeze reaction), inflaming the sympathetic nervous system to achieve goals and produce results (Clark, 2016). Breathing turns on the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest and digest, in order to calm the body, mind, and the connection between the two.

Next time you are feeling a sudden change of mood spring about, try breathing deeply with Ujjayi Pranayama. This breath soothes the nervous system and calms and balances the mind through the audible breath. It can help to relieve insomnia and it slows the heart rate down (Saraswati, 1969). The oceanic breath reminds us of the ebb and flow of the tides- the natural dualities that exist in our external reality.

Ujjayi Pranayama:

Finding a comfortable seated or standing position. Gently close the eyes or have a soft gaze in front of you.

·     Simply inhale through the nose, constricting the back of the throat to create an oceanic wave-like sound and filling the low belly, mid belly and upper chest for a count of 1-2-3-4.

·      Hold the breath in at the top for another count of 1-2-3-4.

·      Then release the breath out of the nostrils, constricting the back of the throat, and squeezing the belly button to the spine for a count of 1-2-3-4.

·      Repeat this breath at least 5 times or as many as you need, eventually holding your exhales out for a longer count than the inhales.

References

Clark, B. (2016). Your body, your yoga. Vancouver, B.C.: Wild Strawberry Productions.

Saraswati, S. (1969). Asana, pranayama, mudra, and bandha. Bihar, India: Yoga Publications Trust.